I had my once-a-year routine breast MRI last week. It was my second ever MRI. My first was last year after finding out I am a carrier of a BRCA gene variant a few months earlier.
The day of the scan came — and went. It wasn’t easy, but I got through it. I didn’t faint, throw up or have a panic attack in the middle of the MRI tunnel (all the things I was secretly afraid of). I had survived my first breast MRI a year ago, I knew I could do it again, and I knew it would be easier to manage the second time around. And it was. But nevertheless, MRI’s are not fun, even at the best of times.
Here is my guide for anyone who may be scared for their upcoming MRI. It’s a guide for those who live too much in their own head. It’s a small manual of ways to turn your thinking around, so that your brain works for you in situations like this when you need it the most.
Here it is:
It’s ok to be scared
Yes, it’s ok to be scared. It’s ok to be more than scared, in fact. It’s ok to feel whatever you’re actually feeling, regardless of whether it ‘fits’ the situation or not. It’s ok to be nervous as all hell. It’s ok to quietly dread the scan for weeks in advance. All of your feelings are ok, and they are all valid, so let them be. Let them exist. And in the process of letting your emotions exist, cut yourself some slack. You’re doing your best, even if you feel like a nervous wreck.
Feel the fear and do it anyway, then remind yourself how brave you are
You are SO brave. Just look at yourself! Look at how far you’ve come. Look at where you’re standing now. You had to surpass so many steps just to get to where you are now. And if you’re still scared? Well, that’s completely normal. Being scared isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s a sign of humanity. The main thing is that you feel the fear and you conquer it — you get through the scan. Even if your hands are shaking the entire time you’re in the tunnel. Even if you don’t feel brave or strong or powerful — you are. So remind yourself of that. You are braver than you’re giving yourself credit for. Recognise that.
Play mind games to help get through the actual scan
So the preps are all done, you’ve got the IV in your arm, you’re gowned up and it’s finally time to go into the MRI scanner itself. Deep breath, you can do this. Now, pick a game you can play to yourself in your head. Try counting backwards from 100 in 3’s. Name a different animal for every letter of the alphabet. Or, if you want something closer to home, start naming all your favourite restaurants and imagining what you’d like to order next time you go. Whenever your mind drifts (and it likely will) bring your attention back to your mind game. You can even switch games in the middle if one doesn’t work. By playing mind games with yourself you can effectively distract yourself, even when you’ve got nerves rising to your throat. Distraction is huge, don’t undermine it.
Walk out confident
The scan is over (phew!). You change back into your regular clothes, the IV in your arm comes out. How do you feel? Allow that rush of relief to flow through you. You deserve it. You also deserve to walk out feeling like a slightly newer, more confident version of yourself. Why? Because you are. You accomplished something momentous, something you were really anxious about. You were scared, and you still got it done. Revel in that feeling of confidence. Let it fill you, reaching all your extremities. You are a goddess. That is all.
Reward yourself
Maybe you’ve been thinking about a small way to reward yourself before or during your scan. If your awesomeness has only just occurred to you, and you want to celebrate in some way, now is the time. Something small and enjoyable usually ticks all the boxes. So just do it. Buy yourself your favourite drink, or maybe an ice cream? The choice is yours. Do whatever it is that feels like a reward. Why? Because you freakin’ deserve it. Yes, you do.
Now go and enjoy.
