I’m going to come right out and say it: I’ve really been struggling this winter. The cold, coupled with the rain, wind and lack of proper sunshine is legit getting me down. As the rain pelts down relentlessly outside, I’m finding it hard to keep my spirits up. Maybe you are too? I’ve decided it’s high time I created my own winter self care checklist — a brain dump of all the ways we can better look after ourselves during these blustery winter months. 

Have you ever felt like you’re coming up against a brick wall? Maybe you know what I mean; maybe you don’t. I’m referring to periods of time that are just plain hard. Things are going on — too many things, in fact, and you feel like you just can’t keep up. Sometimes events are layered on top of each other like a mountain that gets bigger with every sandstorm. Or sometimes, it’s just one very large, seemingly unmovable mountain that won’t seem to budge, no matter how many times you try to find a way around it.

I’ve been sitting here for the last 20 minutes, with my iPad open, my keyboard ready and a blank screen staring back at me. Even though there’s a lot on my mind, I really don’t know how or where to start. There’s been a lot going on in my personal life. Life is funny how it can feel almost boring when you sail through the regular up’s and down’s. Things can feel so routine; so ordinary. Like nothing much is happening at all. But the second things become rocky, all you want is for life to be uneventful. You start to crave that boring life. And for good reason. A boring life means a happy life, in many ways. As I sit here typing this, I’ve got all this playing on my mind. It’s a delicate balance writing about my personal life. There’s a fine line between sharing too much and just enough. And I’m tip toeing around that line right now. There’s a lot I want to write, a lot I want to say. I’ve spent a lot of Shabbat thinking about how to word this blog post. But maybe there is no ‘right’ or ‘easy’ way. Maybe there’s no other way than to jump right in and say the hard things.

It’s been a heck of a month! Well, a couple of months, to be more precise. When it rains, it most definitely pours, that much I learnt pretty quickly early. And the other old adage: Man plans, God laughs — also too applicable for words right now. Without going into details, I’ll just say that the past 3 months have been some of my hardest yet. 

This is a story about a $4.79 oversized pack of blueberries that amped up my day. It’s about small things that make big differences, and it’s about taking the time to appreciate the good, especially in times that feel overwhelmingly difficult. But first, some background. It’s Sunday, October 17th, 2021, and after over 250 days in lockdown all up and Melbourne breaking the world record for the most locked down city in the world, there is an end in sight.

I was speaking to my New York based brother on the phone before Rosh Hashana. “So, how are you dealing with lockdown number 31?” He asked. “Do you mean lockdown number 301?” I joked. “I’m not even treating it like a lockdown anymore, to be honest. This is just life right now.” I boasted. The truth is, it was “just life right now” because he happened to catch me at a good moment, when things felt…ok. Things were cruising, at least temporarily, and I was taking them in my stride — at that moment. You see, lockdown life is like that. One second we’re acting like zenned out tai-chi masters, the next it’s all why-is-the-world-coming-to-an-end.